Sinking & Stars

Funny how you never notice things until you’re forced to.  In taking Shadow out day and night, having to wait with him while he finds just the right spot to go, standing there in my pajamas, I’m watching the phases of the moon come and go.  The other night I saw stars for the first time in years.  Things like that make you wonder what is the meaning of life.  They also make you realize how incredibly persistent and strong Malamutes are.  Most dogs would have given up by now – having to practically be carried out, propped up, so he can waddle and do his business.  It isn’t easy. Then there’s the scream as we pick him up – sometimes I think it’s just a protest to having to give in to the dependency, other times I wonder if it’s pain.   I don’t know.  But once he’s up and motoring around he seems content with his fate – for now.  I have no illusions this will last forever, but it’s working for now.  He manages on his own to get all over his little space somehow – you never really see him do it – you just come back and he’s turned around, or in a different position.  Maybe it’s the malamute don’t let the pack see weakness thing.  I wonder if the other dogs are fooled.  Last night I dreamt the Bobo boat sank in front of my eyes.  I’m wondering if that’s an omen – even if it isn’t, that’s eventually what is going to happen.  It’s inevitible and it makes me sad.  Meanwhile life goes on.  I’m glad he decided to be back in the house so we can share these last days together and he can enjoy the company of the other dogs too – he really does like Riggs alot.  He’s really learned a lot about trust in these last months – of us and of other dogs. 

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