Yodeling Riggs – Shadow takes a turn for the worst

Riggs is back to watching TV and yodeling. Shadow is going downhill fast again and this time I think is it – or closer to *it*.  Thursday the vet is coming out for heartworm tests and it’s killing me to try and decide whether to put him down then or wait a little longer.  He has another bladder infection which he is treating with huge amounts of cranberry juice on his own (that fixed it before – he ASKS for his juice) but his rear is getting weaker, and he can’t see very well, hears even less, and cries, screams or barks constantly wanting to be helped to do something.  Has trouble getting his front up now mainly because he’s just getting weaker which is breaking my back. I really spend  most of my day helping him in and out and to get comfortable so I’m wondering if I need to do something.  I’m really having a hard time with it because he is so mentally alert and seems reasonably happy (as long as I help him get up, etc.).  I’d like him to go as peacefully as possible – but he’s butthead and there is no *peacefully* with him.  He’s a survivor and I suspect he will figure out what’s up (my crying won’t help) and will fight and make it really difficult.  So I’m really torn about what to do.  He’s falling apart – found blood from somewhere yesterday – probably the bladder infection – but he has so much determination to get better (which he won’t) it breaks my heart.  Right now he’s sitting under a shade tree in the yard – that will last 10 minutes unless he falls asleep before the squeak goes out he wants up or to come in or move.  This has been the hardest one yet – and Penny was agonizingly hard.  Hoover isn’t doing all that well – he’s healthy overall, just his rear is getting weaker.  Then Moola got into my meds last night so she will have the cleanest arteries in dogville due to the Lipator. Yes, I am running a nursing home for dogs!  We would like to think about having puppies – we could use some puppy breath – but how would we find the time! Well, gotta go….being summoned by Shadow…

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